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Today a dear friend of mine sent an email forward with a video of Trace Adkins and the West Point Cadet Glee Club performing “Til the last shot’s fired” at the Academy of Country Music Awards. Words spoken by the warrior who introduced them have stayed with me: “Please consider that it’s not about the war, it’s about the warrior.”

The words in the song are from the perspective of the dead calling us to pray for peace so that they may “lay down [their] guns” and go home. I know I’m taking this to an extreme by thinking that tired, fallen warriors wouldn’t call for an absence of war through the powerful voice of Trace Adkins on a stage such as the Academy of Country Music Awards to set their spirits free with a semi-fallen warrior asking us to pay attention to the warrior if the wars “out there” were anything other than a reflection of our wars within.

Once again I revisit Chief Joseph’s declaration to fight no more, forever. With the deepest respect for the women and men who’ve died and those putting their lives on the line right now, I can’t help but ask everyone, “us”, to examine our hearts, to look for the places within where we will not forgive or where we hold on to right and wrong. I have my own inner bruises and wounds that I choose to lick, so it is with awareness of the depth of the challenge that I ask myself, and you, to consider that it’s not about the war, it’s about the warrior. In one way or another we are all warriors–what are we fighting for?

Is it worth it?

I took a little tour through Spirit at Work Books and Beyond today and picked up a book on soul healing. I didn’t read much of it, only the idea that if we heal our souls, everything else in our lives will heal. Though I am familiar with soul retrieval and other methods of healing the soul, I’ve always wanted to believe that our souls are already perfect; here to learn and grow, but not broken or wounded or ill…that if we look closely enough we’ll see the perfection.

Maybe that’s too big picture of me.

Is soul healing similar to soul learning—as if learning/healing occurs when Mind articulates and integrates the truths of Heart?

Is it possible that our souls are on a journey filled with an exquisite array of infinite possibilities and that we come close to those that give us opportunity to learn and grow? And that some of us use the label healing?  

Anything’s possible.

That’s not fair.

That’s possible.

Urgh.

Love you.

In a funk today. Not the wonderful groovy nature of funk music. That would delight my spirit. No. This is the in between here and there funk–a disconnection within and without.

When things pop up in front of me, for me to say yes or no to, and I say yes then later wonder about the rightness of my involvement, I question you because I trust your guidance and I think you will put in front of me those things that will “work” and flow smoothly, easily. And I remember being described as a hummingbird, here to taste all the flowers.

Bittersweetness causes pause.

A pause between here and there to digest the yeses. To reconnect heart and mind in a space impervious to the passion of others; supported to choose to stand authentically in the fire of your soul.

The bittersweet pause is soul’s nudge to remember your own fire.

Love you.

Teased into consciousness

by ordinary

expressions of strangers,

gestures of new lovers,

 

old pride,

gatekeeper of

shadows of the past

and of the father,

 

stands ready,

swords drawn,

protecting the

door to the heart.

Battles within…

constant stream of incoming stimulation
merging with the already flowing busy mind
flipping switches and pushing buttons
activating turmoil then peace
then fun and laughter
then fatigue and more wonderment.

Beautiful sky
cold
phone calls from old friends
the day’s headlines
sad news from acquaintances and ex-lovers.

Silence speaking too.

Are these battles within?

Or you fulfilling my request to have it all?

August 2017
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